You Don’t Get What You Want. You Get What You Are.

Bernard H Hamilton
6 min readOct 11, 2022

--

It was late Dr. Wayne Dyer who coined the phrase, “You Don’t Get What You Want. You Get What You Are.” So, it doesn’t matter where you start in life. It’s where you finish. And where you finish is determined by who you become as time goes by. The problem with most people is that they’ve been programmed to be average and mediocre. They’ve been programmed to basically fit into the world system, not to standout. They’ve been taught to get an education so you can get a job so your can eventually retire and leave something for those left behind when you die. Wow! What a boring life. Most people don’t even know who they are. But that’s what most people have been taught; instead of following the desires of your heart in the pursuit of your own personal dreams and in figuring out who they are and what they’re here to accomplish in this matrix like world.

This statement for most people is extremely difficult to swallow, because from birth, people have been programmed to believe things about themselves that may not be true. In reality, you are who you think you are. And that statement is backed up from Proverbs 23:7, “As a man thinks in his heart, so is he.” It doesn’t matter what someone thinks of you. The only thing that matters is what you think of yourself. But because of the bad programming that occurred on you while you were growing up, you have to reprogram your mind and soul to become what you want to be, what you want to do, and what you want to have. In doing so, that is who what you become which will allow you to attract to yourself what you truly desire in your life. Is it easy? No, but it’s very doable

As the sixth child out of six, for as long as I can remember, I was a happy go lucky kid raised in a working class family who just wanted to enjoy life. But I saw what I didn’t want during that time. I saw a father who was a heavy drinker. I saw a mother who enabled drinking, who was also a heavy smoker. As much as I loved my father and mother, I said to myself from an early age, “I will never be a drinker, and I will not allow smoking to control my life.” And from an early age, I did not conform to people I was raised with on the West Side of Charleston, West Virginia. I had my own dreams that I wanted to pursue.

I was active in sports (i.e. basketball, baseball, football, and boxing), and from the coaching I received at that time, I had to learn to believe in me and my abilities to succeed at that level of competition which I believe prepared me to be a fighter as an adult in becoming who I truly wanted to become.

I was never a crowd pleaser nor did I ever try to conform to the masses that surrounded me. And when I saw the conformity, I thought it was downright ridiculous. Most of my old friends worked in the same job for well over 40 years with most now deceased. And, studies suggest that 95% of all people in the world conform to the thinking and ideology of the powers around them without ever even trying to intellectually figure out if the ideology is even is even true.

By the time, I graduated from high school, I followed the path of my high school guidance counselor to go to college and get a degree in accounting, which I did. I would eventually graduate from
West Virginia State University and become an Accountant at United Parcel Service for well over 8 years before moving on to graduate school in Dallas, Texas. And you know what. The one thing that was missing from my life during that season was a burning desire to pursue what I really wanted, because I had not truly discovered who I really was. My path had always been determined by the people I allowed to influence my life.

What I discovered was that even though I can create a good life for myself, until I figured out my burning desire for living and my purpose, I could never overcome the emptiness I felt during my greatest successes. Okay, I bought my own home, my own cars. I had good relationships. There were things that I accomplished in my life. Yet, you cannot attract things you truly want in life until you discover who you really are. Because, you don’t get what you want in life. You get who you are. And that’s the question I had to answer for myself without the assistance of everybody else trying to tell me who I was.

For the change to happen in your life, there has to be a paradigm shift of the sub-conscious mind, which the majority of people have never bothered to work through. Because, if you change your sub-conscious mind, you change your whole life. The tragedy of this statement is that 95% of the world population have never taken the time to make that change. That’s why only 5% of the population control the world. Because they’ve figured out who they are, what they want to be, do, and have. And they’ve manifested the lives of their dream, which the majority of people have not.
Listen, you can wish and want all day long, but if you don’t mentally and psychologically change your sub-conscious mind, you will only attract what you are, based on what you’ve been programmed to be, by others in your life. That’s why I wrote some of the books I written to hopefully help people who don’t have a clue of who they are https://a1resilientlife.com/shop .

So What Do You Want?
If you want to change your boring uneventful life, then do something about it. Write down on a piece of paper what you truly want to be in life, no matter how old or young you are. And then review what you want everyday until it becomes apart of your inner way of thinking and feeling. You can start this paradigm shift at anytime in your life. This is change that has to take place on the inside of you. And whatever you do, don’t tell your family or friends about what you’re trying to accomplish because all they will do is try to discourage you from changing. Why? Because they want to stay average and mediocre just like them. And yes, when you start changing they will start talking about you. But so what. If boring and mediocre is not what you want anymore then become what truly desire to be. Figure out what your burning to desire is. Then, pursue that desire with a plan and a purpose to make it happen. And in becoming that new person from the inside out, you will manifest for yourself a new life through the assistance of the God in you that only the Infinite Intelligence in you can manifest.

Once you figure out what you want in life, through your imagination, thoughts, feelings, actions, and behavior, your new subconscious mind which is one with “Source” within you will make ways out of no ways that will blow your mind, no matter who you are or what you are. But you must persistently pursue your burning desires without giving up in the process of manifesting what you are, on the inside, instead of what you want. Put another way, if you can hold that mental picture of who you are on the screen of your imagination, it will eventually expand on the exterior screen of your life. Yes, there will be failures along the way, but you keep growing and learning until success finds you. But you can’t give up while you anticipate the outer manifestation of your inner reality. So become who you are meant to be so that you will attract to yourself who you really are.

Bernard H. Hamilton, Th.M., MACP
Author of various Mindset Books for you https://a1resilientlife.com/shop

--

--